


Spank the Monkey

by doodledinmypants



Series: Shameless Lupin III PWP [2]
Category: Lupin III
Genre: Blasphemy, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, PWP, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sex in a Church, Spanking, blasphe-everybody in the room, blasphe-you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:54:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29579871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doodledinmypants/pseuds/doodledinmypants
Summary: This is the most obvious title I could have possibly chosen for this fic. Everything you need to know is right there. Mind the tags as you go.
Relationships: Arsène Lupin III/Zenigata Kouichi
Series: Shameless Lupin III PWP [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173134
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	Spank the Monkey

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of the Shameless PWP series for a reason. It's very silly and very indulgent. I don't know what else to tell you.

Zenigata knows Lupin’s going to escape even when he catches him, so he starts exacting a little bit of ‘punishment’ on his own. The first time, it’s just a simple swat to get Lupin to step up into the police van. The way Lupin yelps and blushes makes the gears turn in Zenigata’s head.

...

“You have been _so bad,”_ Zenigata growls, bending Lupin over the hood of his police cruiser after cuffing him and reading him his rights. He holds tight to Lupin’s cuffed wrists (no fake limbs this time—he checked) and delivers a hard smack across his ass. Lupin squeaks, ears turning red. 

“P-Pops,” he gasps. “I’m pretty sure this isn’t procedure!” But the look he gives Zenigata: flushed, eyes dilated, breathing heavy and fast—that tells Zenigata all he needs to know. Lupin is _enjoying_ this. 

So it’s fine if Zenigata does, too, right?

...

It seems like Lupin lets himself get captured a little more often. Especially if Zenigata can corner him without anyone else around. Then he can take his time cuffing Lupin, tying him up, pinning him down... and then slapping his big, meaty hands across that surprisingly round ass. How does such a skinny little noodle of a man have such a nice, plush tush? 

The spanking is all on top of the clothes at first, of course. Zenigata just likes to make Lupin yelp and whimper. It’s cathartic. Then one day he has to strip-search Lupin anyway, because the bastard keeps hiding tricks and gadgets all over himself, and Lupin wiggles that pert little ass right in his face, taunting him. Zenigata sees red. Then, he wants to make that red bloom all over the cheeky cheeks Lupin is shaking at him.

So he doesn’t even give Lupin the striped pajamas yet. Just grabs him, sits in a nearby chair, and drags the thief over his lap. The first slap on bare skin seems so loud. Lupin’s mouth opens in silent shock, eyes wide. He’s red to his shoulders in an instant. Zenigata is fascinated by the matching color on his ass in the shape of his hand. Lupin meets his gaze, equal parts horrified and turned on. 

Then Lupin says: “That all ya got, Pops?”

That’s all Zenigata needed to hear. He cuts loose, slapping Lupin’s rear over and over again, the crack of palm against buttocks echoing sharply in the small concrete room. There are no cameras in here. The door is locked and guarded against escape or entry. The doors are fairly soundproof. Lupin yells, swears, howls, and whimpers as Zenigata turns his back end cherry red all over, handprints overlapping. 

Zenigata is so into it that it takes him a minute to realize that Lupin is trying to hump his leg. His dick is hard and leaves a damp spot on the side of Zenigata’s thigh.

Well fuck, that’s awkward. Almost as awkward as the boner Zenigata has right now, trapped uncomfortably down his trouser leg against his inner thigh. He shifts a little to relieve the pressure but Lupin notices, because of _course_ he does, the fucking pervert, and he grins at Zenigata. “Oh my! Is that your gun or—“

Zenigata pinches an especially tender spot on one bun and Lupin _squeals_.

Zenigata’s hand is almost numb but he grips Lupin’s buttock in one hand and squeezes hard. Lupin moans and his back curves up like a drawn bow. 

Zenigata lets go suddenly, remembering where he is, _who_ he is. He stands up and Lupin tumbles unceremoniously to the ground, hands bound behind his back so he can’t even catch himself. “Ouch! Hey, what gives?!”

Zenigata just wrestles him into the jail uniform and throws him into their most secure cell. Then he leaves Lupin there, confused and horny and _his ass is on fire holy fuck owww._

Lupin escapes, as usual. 

...

The next time, Lupin corners Zenigata in the dilapidated church where he (supposedly) ran to hide. Lupin reaches out and yanks him into a confessional booth. 

“Sorry, Pops, I’ve been sooo _naughty~!”_

“I’m pretty sure it goes: Forgive me, Father, for I have—“

Lupin kisses him.

“Assaulting an officer of the law. That’s gotta be worth some punishment, right?”

Zenigata is blushing, exasperated. “It’s not punishment if you _want_ it!”

Somehow Lupin finds all of Zenigata’s buttons and pushes them. Zenigata nearly pops all of Lupin’s buttons _off_ as he yanks Lupin’s pants down, throws him over his knee, and gives him as much punishment as he can dole out before his hand feels like it’s gonna fall off. Lupin yowls like a cat with its tail stepped on. 

When he sort of oozes off Zenigata’s lap onto the floor, he thinks Lupin has had enough—but he kneels on the dusty hardwood boards and opens Zenigata’s belt and fly with ludicrous speed. They make eye contact for three full seconds. Zenigata nods. Lupin pulls his cock out and just _swallows it._

One thing leads to another—Lupin pulls a condom out from behind Zenigata’s ear and quips: “You really need to clean your ears better, Pops! Or maybe it’s your dirty mind; your other ear had lube in it!”

“Har dee har har. _Now use them.”_

Zenigata winds up fucking Lupin on the wooden bench. His fingers dig into those bright red cheeks until his fingernails leave indents. Lupin nearly screams himself hoarse. He looks fucking _ecstatic._

Lupin doesn’t go to jail that day but Zenigata knows he’ll be back for more soon enough.

_-end-_

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Hazza for the bit about finding condoms and lube in Zenigata's ears, and also for generally being the best cheerleader and beta reader anyone could ever ask for. <3


End file.
